Bad Day

Today was a bad day. It is hard to express in detail what occurred, but i would call it a mini-breakdown of sorts. I have been bottling up all of my emotions and just flat out ignoring my own health. I went to the doctor recently and have a follow up this coming week and now I have a new problem. I hope it isnt anything serious but I am pretty sure its going to require a MRI or CAT scan. I told myself that everything is fine and just get over this whole helmet situation and just deal with it but even though I slap a smile on my face, everything isn't alright.

I try to be really positive about it and pick the next thing to look forward to with Nolan and then I focus on that. Well in the midst of that everything else is getting shoved down and is stressing me out to the max. I am getting physically ill from the stress and it is causing my body harm. The exercises, therapy, the worrying are just a few examples of day to day life. I do not complain to anyone because I am sure they do not want to hear it but for once i have a legitimate situation. I feel the need to reach out to the support group just to vent and it helps me to hear other stories so I do not feel like the only mom in the world to ever do this. I feel blessed to stay at home with my son but it is also very taxing during this time. There are so many things to worry about and of course he is my number one priority but I just need a little more help when my hubby is home. Don't get me wrong he will help when I ask him too but I almost feel like I need to tell him that in the evenings i need him to do all the stretches and exercises just to give me a break. I feel like Nolan see's me as the bad guy because I am the one who is constantly doing all these things he doesn't want to do.

He is still messing with his ear today. He did not do it when the helmet was off. I noticed he is pushing the side that is in front of his ear so we adjusted it to see if it helps but before I put him to bed he was grabbing it again. I think the dry skin is back so I put some lotion on it. The helmet seems to dry it out like no other. Anyways that is all for today! Talk to you tomorrow!